pushing

Sometimes all I can do is push forward, When I really want to push back I feel like I'm living in an organized chaos Where I have a strict schedule, a strict plan for the future, A planned map of exactly where I want to go, and I feel like that map is now burning I feel like a spinning compass, a lost traveler, A sky without a North star to guide, A ship without a captain, A soul without another to unite A barren wasteland, with emptiness echoing across the meadow A tumbleweed drifting off into the distance A dandelion seed flying into the wind A girl who thinks she's got it together But really doesn't have a clue And so the clock ticks, the wheels turn, the pendulum swings And only tomorrow will tell What will come of us

23

I've broke a lot of hearts
and had my heart broken,
I've whispered sweet nothings,
and had sweet nothings unspoken,
I've held the world in my palm,
and never felt so free,
cuz I'm 23.

Down the rabbit hole

There is a demon who can't let me see
The beauty that's right in front of me,
I'm so transfixed, all I do is compare,
All I want to have is what is not there,
A faded tear falls down my cheek,
I have a never-ending quest to seek,
A new image of self, of perfection,
Because when I gaze into my reflexion,
All I see is empty, all I see is plain,
I seem so superficial, I seem so vain,
But I can't help that it's how I feel,
I want to be plastic, I don't want to be real.
For I grow and I shrink and I eat and I drink,
I really don't know what else to think,
For I'm all alone in a strange place,
And my image of self has erased,
Call me a serpent, call me a maid,
I'll be whatever you call me in this masquerade,
For I am blind, yet I can only see,
the identity that you transcribe upon me.

a poem for a friend

This is a poem about friendship and a poem about love,
A poem about everything I can think of.
Through all of the darkness and all of the pain,
You were there through the rain,
The rain of my life,
You were there in the storm,
To give me shelter and keep me warm,
and although I haven't been the nicest to you,
I can tell you our friendship will always be true,
I feel so bad for what I said,
The way I used you and the way I fled,
away from you and into the arm
of someone who only caused me harm
I felt so betrayed, I felt so used
I was so easily tattered, so easily bruised
and for the only person who really cared,
I ran away because I was scared
I was just so young and so naive
Now I always mourn and I always grieve
for the true friend that I really lost
At at such a very selfish cost
Although we've both moved on and found someone new,
My friendship with you will always be true,
So I wish you happiness, I wish you love
I wish you everything you dream of,
because you're a great person inside and out,
I know that without a doubt.
So go ski down a mountain and bike through a trail,
and maybe sometime you'll remember a tale,
of the shy girl with the dark blonde hair,
whose life you changed in a way that is rare.

university

I’ve dedicated almost four lives to the University system and I feel so imprisoned and limited by it. When I was in elementary school, and even high school, teachers brainwashed us that University was somehow “better” than college. Personally, I know so many people who completed their degrees at University, then went to College after because they couldn’t find jobs. I also know people who stop going to University after a few years and decide to go to college or do internships to gain practical skills. University develops writing skills and analytical thinking skills. It does not provide any practical experience- excluding certain faculties of course (such as Nursing or Engineering). I am mostly talking about the Arts faculties- Visual Arts, English, and French. Does learning English really provide you training to be a good elementary school teacher? Sure, it develops your writing skills, however it does not provide any experience with group control for a large classroom. You have to learn those things on your own. Yes, that IS why they have teacher’s college- but that is only a year!

Love

You.
Traces of you. Everywhere I look. In the droplets of morning dew. In the gentle cascade of a waterfall. Clinging to each step I take, each word I speak, grasping onto each breath. Giving me goosebumps, casting a blush upon my cheek, a shiver up my spine. A rush. A neverending high. An intoxication. A motorcycle ride. Ecstasy. Butterflies in my stomach. The thrill of a rollercoaster ride. A warm summer breeze brushing against my face.

Nice quotes :)

Southern lady at the train station, talking about her place in Nice: “we found out that if we make a left turn from our place, we move AWAY from the water” (wow what a stroke of intellect)
Kristina: (talking about her baguette sandwich): This is really large, and hard to swallow.
Waheeda: That’s what she said
Kristina, while drunk: “I have no gag reflex!”
Waheeda: How did you find THAT out?
Fat woman: “c’est la mediterannee! Si vous imaginez une apartement mieux que ca, vous revez. Vous REVEZ ! »