...

the truth is, sometimes there's just that one person that captivates me, someone that has that je-ne-sais-quoi about them. i'm really into smooth talkers. and sometimes, that one person that we think was something else turns into being someone different. or, even worse, sometimes we know they are wrong for us all along, yet we're still inevitably drawn to them. i'm still wondering why. why would i get myself into something, something i know i'd regret? and i'm just so caught up in what i'm feeling in the moment that i don't consider the repurcussions of my actions. yet i can't help thinking it was somehow worth it because if i didn't do it i'd keep wondering what it would have been like. and that feeling would have haunted me. but now that feeling is instead turned into something kind of like regret. i don't feel used though. i don't feel angry. i just feel a little bit confused, and a little bit hurt. yet i was happy that i was filled with the passion of the moment.. i behaved in a way that was so unlike me. i became someone else for just one night. it was a way to escape, to become a sultry vixen, to expose myself without becoming vulnerable. i released my inhibitions and acted impulsively, instead of rationally. the only thing that haunts me is that i might be forgotten, and i don't want to be forgotten.